


Caged Bird

by LadyLorena



Category: Thor (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:23:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLorena/pseuds/LadyLorena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane visits Asgard often, a guest wanted only by Thor. But when Loki is discovered and thrown in the dungeon, things change. She has someone to visit while Thor prepares to take the throne.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams_

_his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream_

_his wings are clipped and his feet are tied_

_so he opens his throat to sing._

"Caged Bird", excerpt, Maya Angelou

Jane is, as always, a bit uncomfortable in Asgard. Thor has brought her for a visit- a meeting of scientific minds, some new questions for Asgard's brightest from one of Midgard's. But he has been urgently called away to business, a matter of the security of the realm, Fandral said upon delivering the message. She is alone. Again. This happens at least once every visit and she is getting tired of it. Usually, the incidents are not as serious as they are made out to be. And once, his friends just wanted him without her. She pretended not to mind, but told Thor later to just be honest. But once she was back home, she had cried into her pillow and swore at every one of them for treating her like the kid sister because of her realm of origin and stupidly short lifespan.

She waits for him in the rooms he has prepared for her. They are nice, but there is so much she wants to see, to explore, that he has not had the time to show her.

She is lost in thought, her headphones on, a movie playing on her iPod, when Thor bursts in the room, startling her. She rips off the her headphones and pauses her video.

"Jane. There has been a great change. I must take you back to Midgard."

"What? But I haven't even had the chance to meet with your sciencey people!"

"This is a matter of urgency. They will forgive your absence."

"No! We worked too hard to set this up! My research team is waiting-"

"Loki is alive."

She stops, "What?"

"He has been impersonating Father on the throne. Father has returned unharmed. He will not tell me where he was trapped- in another realm, perhaps. Loki has been dragged to the dungeon."

"My god, Thor...is he...I mean, are you going to go see him?"

"No. He is no longer my brother."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"Exactly what I said. That's bullshit. You've talked about him every time we've come here for the past five years since he died...or we thought he died. This 'he's not my brother anymore' crap is just...stupid and getting really old. You love him just as much as you always have, even if you don't trust him at all."

"Jane...please."

"No. You can lie to everyone else, but you're not going to lie to me."

He bows his head, "You may be right, but I need time to think. And Father has insisted that I talk to him tonight about coronation. But he has also insisted that I leave Midgard behind and focus entirely on this world. He is convinced that my distraction is what has led us to this. Had I been here and not worried about Midgard, I would not have a brother in the dungeons."

"Also bullshit."

"I do not deny this."

"Kinda seem to remember coronation and a jealous brother started everything."

"Yes, that it did."

"And a dad who had some problems with picking favourites."

"Mother did her best to dote on Loki."

"And you damn well know that's not the same. Sometimes you act like he's the sun itself. And I heard you boys fighting about who Mom liked best on the way into Svartalfheim. You kids have some serious issues."

"Well on that I have no doubt you are right."

"So Loki's why you need me to go?"

"Yes. Especially if he chooses execution. You do not need to be here for that."

"Pretty sure that if he kills your brother, you're going to need me even more."

"He says it would be too damaging for you to be here."

"That's the worst excuse ever. I'm staying. You can tell your father to stuff it."

He laughs, "Somehow I think he would not take kindly to being told such."

"Nope. But you're going to actually stand up for me for once. I know I'm the butt of your buddies' jokes. I know they don't like me, I know the Avengers don't give a damn about me. I'm just Thor's geeky girlfriend no matter where I am. PhDs be damned. And to your dad...anybody from Asgard would be better than me. And I need to feel like I'm not."

They have had this conversation before and he has always skilfully sidestepped the matter. But this time, it hits a little harder and he kisses her in response. She cuddles against his chest.

That evening, Odin sends for him, "Thor. It is time you take on this crown and lead this realm with strength and wisdom. I once intended for your brother to stand beside you, an advisor to the king, but now you are on your own. There is nothing left of the boy I once knew."

"I understand, Father."

"And you ought to choose a queen."

"I have."

"Oh?"

"But you would not allow her to take the throne beside me."

"Jane Foster."

"Yes."

"Is she still here?"

"Yes. She is supposed to meet with our scientists on a matter her research team has uncovered. She will not return empty handed."

"You will send her back as soon as possible so that we can move forward with this coronation. You must leave her behind, Thor- Asgard must be first and foremost in your heart."

"Then perhaps I cannot take the throne."

Odin gapes for a moment, "What is this foolishness?"

"Father, I have chosen someone to stand beside me. Her life will be short compared to ours, yes, but she is my beloved. And so long as she is unwelcome in Asgard, I will not take the throne."

"Then so be it, Asgard will fall for this ridiculous whim if I cannot outlive her."

"Asgard will not fall. You will appoint a steward and I will return to take the throne. But I am not going to leave Jane."

"Then you will not be king."

"Then there is no reason for us to continue this conversation." Thor leaves.

He returns to Jane and tells her what has happened. She is at a loss for what to say. But she knows exactly how much Thor values her and she is incredibly honoured by his dedication.

She stays in Asgard for the better part of the month, exploring the questions her research team sent with her. By the time she leaves, Thor has still not again spoken to Odin, and he has no plans to.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Jane returns to Asgard a few years later. Her work in Midgard has been more involved than she had anticipated- there are always more questions to uncover that need to be addressed before getting back to whatever it is they are studying.

She returns for fun, rather than for business, and she has high hopes that she might be able to finally explore more of the realm. But when they arrive, Odin once again calls Thor. Frustrated, she has an idea. She will visit Loki. Thor has told her that he is forbidden from visiting, thanks to breaking Loki out to go to Svartalfheim, but no one has said anything about _her_. She has never been to the dungeons, but she asks a guard for directions and he doesn't hesitate to give them to her. She finds her way and, once there, asks for Loki. She is directed to his cell and stands outside it, watching. He is dishevelled, sitting in a corner, a blank look on his face. She says his name, but he does not glance in her direction. She returns to the upper levels of the palace and meets Thor at her room.

"Where were you while I dealt with Father?"

"I went down to the dungeons."

"Oh?"

"No one said I couldn't visit Loki."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing. He didn't even move. He looks awful, Thor. Like he hasn't bathed in days...weeks...months, maybe."

"Well he is in the dungeon."

"In Midgard, our little stone age culture generally considers that inhumane."

"Prisoners are given the opportunity to bathe. Whether or not they take it is their own decision."

"Yeah, well make sure he's being offered, ok?"

"It does seem odd that he would not. He has always been proud of his appearance."

"Well he certainly isn't now. It's pretty bad."

That afternoon, Thor speaks with Fandral. Loki is given chances to bathe. Water is delivered to his cell every day and it sits, unused, just as his food is virtually untouched. He believes Loki is living in his illusions, but has no way to confirm this.

"But you should be able to see those, shouldn't you?" Jane asks.

"Not necessarily. He could be casting them for his eyes only, which he has been known to do- a private moving picture, like your device...or the unkempt man may be an illusion to mask whatever world he has built in his cell.

"So how do we find out?"

"We don't. This is his imprisonment. If he wishes to spend it living in his mind, let him."

She does not like this answer, but doesn't try to argue. But still, something worries her about this. It does not seem right to let a brilliant mind languish and she can't help but try to think of things from his perspective. She has been doing this with Thor for years- picking apart Loki and his motivations to try to understand him better.

She begins visiting him every few days, sitting beside his cell, telling him little details about her visit. What flowers she has seen in bloom, what the weather is like, and eventually she starts telling him children's stories and nursery rhymes because they are all she can think of to say and she can't simply leave him in whatever silence he has imposed on himself.

When Odin discovers Jane has been visiting Loki, he is furious. He calls for Thor and bellows about her place and where, exactly, it should be. But Thor does not get angry. He explains that there is nothing she can do to make the situation worse. Loki lives in his head, or they think he does, and he will not even speak to her. Odin calms a little. But he is still not happy.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_"Loki, what are you doing?_

_"I'm giving the people what they want."_

_"Does all this make you feel better?"_

_"It certainly doesn't make me feel worse."_

_"Cast enough illusions and you risk forgetting what is real."_

_"Precisely."_

Loki has not moved from where he sits against the wall for far too long. At least this is how Jane sees it. She has never seen him anywhere else and the guards she speaks to say he spends most of his time rooted there. They are sure he must use the toilet, but it is not something they see.

She keeps talking to him. Thor told her, in illusion, he can hear others, even when he chooses to ignore them.

Years pass, and after a decade of visits during which he stays sitting beside the same wall without moving, Jane starts to wonder if he is alive or if this illusion is just in place to keep anyone from questioning what happens in the cell. But she persists, visiting at least once every time she is in Asgard. And then, finally, after twenty years, he looks towards her and meets her eyes. He does not smile, or speak, or even move his hands, but he nods once in goodbye. She tells Thor. Little as it may be, it is a breakthrough.

This is all he gives her, one nod so slight that she doubts anyone else notices it, for ten years. Then he is in a slightly different place. Nearer to the energy barrier that she stands so close to when she visits.

"'Morning, Loki. I know, we're running out of little stories. But I found this one about a guy named Finn MacCumhail that I think you might like."

Through the haze of whatever it is he is using to cloud his own vision of reality, he speaks to her, his voice barely a croak, "Why have you come?"

"Because I want to."

"Why only you?"

"If you're asking about Thor, it's because your father banned him from coming down here. Not me, though. So here I am."

"Ah."

"So am I really speaking to you or is this all an illusion?"

"I am here."

"And where are you? Or when? Or whatever?"

"In the gardens with Mother on my birthday."

"Ah. Gotcha. Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"No."

"Ok. But if I'm here, can you at least promise to eat a little? You're turning into a walking skeleton and it's really hard to see. You're starving yourself."

"I eat enough to stay alive."

"Barely."

"That is the point."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could make this easier. It's not like I really knew you, but you seemed like you could have been a really great guy."

"Thank you, I think."

"It is. Take care of yourself, Loki. I've never had a brother before, and I'd really like the one I do have to be alive next time I visit."

"You will come again?"

"I always do, don't I? Will I be able to convince you to be in the here and now when I do?"

"Not likely."

"OK. But I'll still be back."

He nods to her, as is now his habit, and she disappears up the stairs.

The next time she visits, he is still beside the barrier, his eyes closed, "Hey, Loki."

"Hello."

"Where are you this time?"

"Still in the gardens."

"Nice."

"It is."

"And am I talking to you or an illusion?"

"Illusion. But where would I go? I am here. I listen."

"I know. It's just weird to talk to somebody who isn't really there."

"Do you not have long range communication devices on your world?"

"Yep. Telephones. The internet. Skype. All kinds of great stuff."

"So it is no different than holography or whatever it is you have."

"Still. Kinda creepy."

"So eloquent."

"I'm just a walking bucket of eloquence. See me being all eloquent..."

He chuckles, "Have you nothing better to do than visit this dismal place?"

"Nope. Thor's on business. So I get to do whatever I want out of a whole slate of options I don't even know about. I don't want to get lost, so I come here."

"You've been coming here for some years."

"Thirty, actually."

"For one of your race, that is a long time indeed."

"Yep. I'm getting to be an old lady. But here I am, still kicking in my sixties."

"I heard your stories."

"Sorry they weren't something spectacular. I'm a terrible storyteller. And they're all I could remember."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Will you come again?"

"Yep. Same as always. Maybe one of these days, I'll actually have your full attention."

"Unlikely."

There is a commotion by the stairs and Fandral quickly comes to Jane, "We are having some trouble with a few of the men in this latest group of prisoners. I need you to leave, for your safety's sake."

She turns back to Loki, "I'll be back, I promise. Be good to yourself."

He watches her go from where he sits in the middle of the floor, his illusion's eyes also following her up the stairs. He does not trust her yet, unsure as to whether or not she is Thor or Odin's puppet. But he still hopes she means it when she promises to return.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jane rarely tells Thor about the conversations she has with Loki during her visits. They are all approximately the same- a greeting, a question as to what he sees, and her perpetual question as to whether or not he is where she sees him. He does not appear to be eating any more than he was to begin with. She does not want to imagine what his cell smells like, unwashed as he seems, but at the same time, she wants to speak to him face to face. She does not know why, other than that it seems inhumane to keep someone with no direct contact with any other creature for as long as she has been visiting Loki.

She has asked Thor for permission, but he has resisted allowing her visit. He is too dangerous. His illusions could be used to mask whatever he chose to do to her. And she could be left at his mercy until dead. So every time she asks, he denies it.

She once again visits the cells. Loki is back, farther from the barrier, leaning against the wall, his eyes distant.

"Where are you this time?"

"The gardens."

"I'm starting to think you're not telling me the truth about what you're seeing."

"And how would you ever tell the difference?"

"Am I seeing you where you actually are?"

"Yes."

"Look...I don't know why you do what you do. But there's this book I've read about a dozen or so times...and at one point in it, this kid finds a mirror that will show him whatever it is his heart desires. He's an orphan who never knew his parents, and they appear to him in the mirror. So he keeps coming back to it again and again. Eventually, he gets caught by his school's headmaster. I keep remembering what the headmaster tells the kid every time I visit. ' _It does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live_.' Seems to fit."

"And what, exactly, am I supposed to live in? A cell? Oh, what a delightful life that would be, to stare at these walls for all the rest of my very long life! Did Thor tell you just how long that will be? Did he? Did Odin? How he must worry for my welfare..." He laughs, a cold cackling sound, rough and harsh from his many years of silence. His voice has never recovered.

"Don't get pissy with me. You could at least come out to talk to me. How do you tell what's real and what isn't? Can't you get lost in your own mind?"

He remembers the words of his mother and whispers them, "' _Cast enough illusions and you risk forgetting what is real_.'"

"Yeah...something like that."

"What other than illusions and dreams do I have, Miss Jane?"

"I don't know. One final inch."

"An inch?"

"It's from another book...a graphic novel, actually. Here, I've got it on this..." She flips through her iPod and pulls up some text, "I'll read you the pieces that explain it. There's this girl, Valerie, and she's been imprisoned and tortured for loving women. And this is in the letter she writes to the person who will be in her cell after she's dead. ' _But it was my integrity that was important. Is that so selfish? It sells for so little, but it's all we have left in this place. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free. ... I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us._ '"

Loki stares at her, "And what good is that inch if you are dead?"

"It's still yours- the one last thing you own."

He sighs, "This has taken a turn for the philosophical. I should say something biting and sarcastic. Perhaps witty and defensive as well. Anything to end this particular thread."

"Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable...but I'm actually not. You're stuck here. You've got exactly one friend and it's me. And you look like you're starving to death. So I'm pretty sure I get to say whatever I want to."

"You would have been a good sister, Jane."

"Would have? Neither of us are dead yet."

He smiles, "Perhaps you are right. And perhaps you are an optimistic fool."

"Eh, I can live with that."

He closes his eyes, "Thank you. Even when you frustrate me."

"You're always welcome. Especially when I'm frustrating." He laughs, "Catch you later, Loki. Thor's expecting me for lunch." He nods and watches her leave, wondering what they would be like if he was not imprisoned. But he also knows that if he had never started on this path, if he had never interrupted Thor's coronation and taken the trek into Jotunheim with Thor, he would never met her. Staring at the space she sat, he takes some comfort in knowing that at least one good thing has come of his mess.


	5. Chapter 5

Thor and Jane take lunch together and after, he takes her for a walk in the gardens. She can't help but think about Loki's insistence that he is always here. She asks which section is the queen's garden and Thor takes her to an alcove enclosed by climbing roses, bordered by shrubby mints and herbs she does not recognize. There are a few small benches around an elegant stone table in the centre. They sit and she closes her eyes, breathing deep. Even if he is lying, she can understand why this place would be something special.

"What are you thinking, Miss Foster?"

"Every time I visit the dungeons, he tells me this is where he is."

"Ah. You wish to darken the mood of this bright day by speaking of Loki."

"I don't consider it darkening. He still exists. You can't just wish him away. And it's nice to think he's at least dreaming of somewhere pretty and pleasant."

"If he is telling you the truth."

"Even if he isn't, this is what he wants me to believe. Which would mean he's being protective from something unpleasant, which is kind of sweet."

"You continually see the best in him, dear Jane. It is commendable."

"Can I visit him?"

"You do already."

"You know what I mean. In his cell. He's not going to hurt me."

"You trust him far more than is wise."

"I also have a taser. And I know they work on you guys."

"Ah yes, your friend."

"Yep. Good ol' Darcy. I miss her."

"She died far too young."

"That she did. Not that we live very long anyway, but cancer's a bitch."

"The ailment that took her?"

"Yeah."

He cannot think of anything else to say, so he takes her hands and watches her as she takes in the garden.

"You will persist in this wish to see him until I relent, will you not?"

"Of course. He's your brother. He at least deserves a chance to prove he can be trusted with something like a visit."

"He deserves nothing at all for what he has done. But I understand your wish."

"Family's important. Especially when you don't really have another one."

"I will allow this. But you will be heavily guarded. And if you do not leave at the end of a prescribed time, they will storm the cell to rescue you."

"Cool, but I want the chance to earn unsupervised visitation."

"Perhaps. We will see."

Jane springs from her seat and hugs him, "Thank you."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jane stands in front of Loki's cell. He is sitting against the wall in the same space he was before. There are a dozen guards around her. She ignores them. The barrier falls and she walks towards him, his eyes fixed on the floor. She does not know if he sees her. She steps up into the cell and walks forward, crouching down as she does so she can sit beside him. But two steps in, her surroundings change and she freezes. He is no longer in front of her and she slowly stands, the rocky, blackened landscape still and silent. She hears a boot crunch behind her and she turns slowly.

"Welcome to Svartalfheim, Miss Jane. Or at least a small sliver of it." He stands, regal, in the same armour she saw him fight in, battered and dusty, the only other living thing on a barren planet. This is the one detail she remembers from Svartalfheim. There were no plants. She had wondered if this is what the planet had always looked like, or if this is what the Aether did to living things.

"We are actually still in your cell, right? Because if this is some kind of portal..."

He is quick to reassure her, "No, no, you are still in Asgard. It is no portal, only illusion."

"Oh thank god- it's been over three decades and I still don't want to ever really go back there...here."

"You have brought guards."

"Only because I had to. No guards, no visit."

"Ah. You do not trust me."

She shakes her head, "Actually, not my call. Remember, Midgardian? Not really in charge of anything around here."

"But you are the prince's consort."

She scoffs, "If by consort you mean 'girlfriend who doesn't actually get to do anything other than sit in her room listening to her iPod all day'...then sure, call me whatever you want. But if you think I get to go anywhere or do anything or even be his date to fancy formal kingy things...nope, wrong word."

Loki sits on a boulder that looks surprisingly like his cot and gestures to the space beside him, "Please?"

She does, and catches a strong whiff of stale sweat and unwashed clothes, but it vanishes quickly, "I shouldn't complain, but I'm just tired of coming here and seeing zilch. I'm a scientist, I'm curious! I want to go see things, explore the city, watch kids play with toys that make my head spin...but he's always so busy. The gardens are about as far as I go unless I'm meeting with other sciencey people."

"It has been how many years?"

"Thirty- since the beginning. And I still sit and watch old movies all day half the time. It's crap. I could do that at home and there I'd have a freezer full of ice cream. Here? I have to call somebody to go find it for me and then they don't know what I want because there's no Ben and Jerry's in this realm. Nobody here knows what Cherry Garcia is."

"Is this why you visit me? Because you are bored and have nothing else to do?"

She shakes her head, "No. Maybe at first, but I actually like coming down here. You're somebody to talk to. Somebody who doesn't just call me 'Thor's Midgardian' like I'm some kind of pet. Did you know he sneaked off to go out with his friends, telling me it was an urgent summons from Odin? He lied. He said he didn't want to hurt me by leaving me out, but still...what the hell, Thor?"

"You will always know exactly where to find me. I cannot sneak off with my friends."

"OK, so sort of, yeah...but I'm still not exactly sure where you're going to be when I get here. Were you ever actually in the rose garden?"

"Yes."

"But let me guess- other times you were here and you just didn't want me to know it."

"Clever. How did you ever guess?"

"Don't be a sarcastic ass, OK? I've been to the garden. It's amazing. But even you wouldn't want to just sit there for the rest of your life. But why here? Aren't there better places fake?"

"It is quiet here."

"Bullshit. It's your illusion, any place could be quiet. Tell me why you're really here." He says nothing, "Come on, I know you know how to be honest."

"Hasn't Thor filled your head with the belief that I am incapable of honesty?"

"He's been pretty gracious, all things considered. He sure doesn't trust you."

"Nor should you."

"Oh? And why not?"

"Because I am Loki, of Jotunheim, and I am chaos."

She rolls her eyes, "Melodrama much? If you don't want to tell me, just say so. I'll wait and bug you again next time."

"There will be a next time?"

"Yep. So long as I'm out of here in..." she checks her watch, "five minutes. Otherwise there's going to be a whole ton of confused guards rushing in here to save me from the big bad Loki."

"So that is their purpose. Rush in when the damsel is in distress like charging cattle. I am certain that would be an effective manner of assessing your situation and not trampling you to death in the process."

"Well if they don't know if they're seeing the real me or not, what do you think they're going to do? Ask? You could be controlling everything."

"The only way to stop me if I were would be...oh. Right."

"Yeah, stabby stabby. But even that's a stupid idea. Thor told me about your little body switching game thing there during your jailbreak. They could stab me instead."

"So what, Miss Jane, would their plan of action be were they to rush here to rescue you?"

She checks her watch again, "I don't know. But I'm not going to find out, either. Goodbye for now. I'll be back."

"Something that yet amazes me."

"What can I say? I'm stubborn." He nods to her and she leaves the cell. The guards stay, just in case, while others escort her upstairs. She is a bit exasperated when Thor quizzes her on intimate details to make sure she is really Jane and not Loki in disguise. But at the same time, if this is what she has to do to keep visiting Loki, she will put up with it, though not without complaint.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jane's second visit into the cell once again includes the guards. This time, though, she is prepared for the shock of being some place different once she enters the cell. She steps forward and is in the illusion of Svartalfheim. Loki rises when she enters and gives a slight bow as he gestures to the rock.

"That's sweet, but you don't have to get up. I'm just Jane, nothing special here."

"Ah, Just Jane, but you are my guest, and therefore I will extend the courtesy."

"Well thanks." She sits next to him, "So...have you been eating?"

"No more than before."

"Come on, Loki, you can't let yourself starve."

"And why not?"

She furrows her brow, "You really don't have any reason not to die horribly slowly as your body breaks down with you still living in it?"

"Not really."

"Come on, whatever it took to not be dead on this godforsaken rock had to be pretty intense. You can't make me believe you're just going to be all like, 'whoop, death, sounds fine!' after that."

He almost laughs before returning to a more serious expression, "You are right in that it was no easy feat. And quite painful. But I wasted that effort. I will die here, alone, having accomplished nothing toward my goals. So why not? Death is death, no matter where, when, or how it comes."

"That's super dark."

"Yes."

"So tell me how you really feel about death. I mean, I'm coming up on 70 here in a few months. I've only got maybe two decades left, if I'm lucky. I'll get to it long before you will. Why should I not be absolutely terrified?"

He watches her, wary that this is some sort of trick question to tease out some wish for execution or not, but she seems earnest and she has never done so before, so he sighs and answers her, "I cannot tell you. I have thought myself dead many times these past few decades and every time, there is great fear there. But my deaths were never to be quick, or painless, or a rest after a long life. My own death? I dread it, for it will not be one I can choose. While I may have your 'one inch', I will not go to a good death and they will strip everything else from me. If I am to be executed as a traitor, they will even take my name."

"Wait, how can they do that? It's your _name_ , it's not something tangible."

"It will never be spoken again, not even in tribute. The wicked do not deserve such things."

"No wonder you're melodramatic- this whole realm is."

He raises an eyebrow, "You do not have such things in Midgard?"

"Look, there are some countries that are backwards that torture people and do horrible things and are upfront about it. But the country I'm from, which, granted, has its own screwed up ideas? If you commit treason bad enough for the death penalty, we just kill you with lethal drugs or an electric chair or a firing squad. That's it. And there's a trial before it where a jury has to find you guilty without any reasonable doubt and a judge decides on the sentence. It's all pretty straightforward."

"And they do not remove you entirely from existence, in name, in deed, everything?"

"No. That would be impossible. People have families that need to be able to talk about them after they're gone, even if they did bad things. Maybe especially if they did bad things."

"Hm."

There is a lull in the conversation and she breaks it with another question, "So...last time. You never answered. Why Svartalfheim?"

"I still do not wish to answer."

"Got it. Are you ever going to answer?"

"Possibly. Possibly not."

She checks her watch, "Oop, sorry, shorter time today. Thor wants to take me for yet another walk in the gardens. He says the time together will make up for all the time he's been leaving me behind for meetings with Odin to go over king stuff."

"Is Odin preparing to crown him?"

"I don't know. I think he's more preparing to drop dead. Guy's really super old. Either way, I've got to go appease the boyfriend. Pretend everything's fine when I want to strangle him."

"Ah. Yes. Well good luck not strangling Thor. I have wanted to do so myself on numerous occasions."

She stands and he rises with her, walking with her to the edge of the illusion, "Hey. Thanks for letting me into your head a little. I'll be back."

Loki bows as she steps out of the cell, "You are welcome, Miss Jane." He returns to his cot-now-stone and sits, staring out at the open plains. With a little movement of his wrist, he watches the skiff blast through the tunnel from Asgard and, in a moment. moves himself to on the deck. He hears him asking the same question he asked Thor then- is he ready to lose her? And then there is the pummelling. But in his version, Thor does not hesitate before fist meets face and the impact is dizzying, even in illusion.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Jane's third visit starts much like the previous two. She enters his illusion, he invites her to sit, she does, and then she asks if he is eating, and he, as always, says he is not. She sighs. There isn't much she can do to convince him to change his mind. Just enough to stay alive, that is all.

"OK, so, Loki, I know I keep asking this...but why this place?"

"I will not yield on this. It is not an answer you are to have."

"But I was here, too! I saw everything...OK, OK, so maybe not everything. The Aether kind of screwed some of that up and I was in this weird vision of the universe engulfed in eternal darkness for the flying in part, but Thor tells me you were spectacular."

"He does?"

"Oh, yeah. He was super impressed. And the hand thing? That was a-ma-zing. I would have never thought of that. Your plan was brilliant." She pauses, "And you meant it, didn't you, when you said you wanted to see Asgard burn?"

He is uncomfortable, as he always is, at least a little, with Jane. She is blunt- far more forward than decorum allows, and so very curious. A dangerous combination, were she to ask the wrong people the wrong questions. He continually asks himself if he is one of the wrong people.

"You're not answering. That means yes."

"I will not give you the satisfaction of an answer."

"Fine. Loki hates Asgard but, for once, won't say it out loud. There's a surprise." She sighs, "Come on, why won't you tell me anything? It's not like you're going anywhere, and who am I going to tell? Thor's too busy getting ready to be king to want to hear anything about my day. If he asks about you, I give him a 'he's still alive and snarky' and he smiles and we're done."

"He does not ask."

"He doesn't want to know you're self destructing, duh. I mean, he knows, but as long as he doesn't ask, he doesn't know...get it?"

"Ah. Yes."

"So come on. Tell me something I can't guess."

"No."

"Why not? No, wait, don't answer. It's too much fun to play cat and mouse instead?"

"That was not my thought, no."

"OK, so why is it really?"

"Because I don't _want_ to!"

She hears the anger edging into his voice and decides to push him anyway, "But that's not a good answer. Come on, be real for me."

"Why? So you can have the satisfaction of knowing you could break the man your beloved god could not shatter? So you can see me bend to your will? Is that what you wish? To best Thor?"

"Nope."

He paces, agitated, "Then why are you so eager to know?"

"Because I want to know you."

"Why?!"

"Well that's just going to be my little secret so long as you get to keep yours."

Frustrated, he picks up a rock and dashes it to the ground, "You are infuriating."

"Back at you."

"Don't you have to be going soon?"

"Nope. Guard's got a different signal today."

"Oh? So do you think it wise to anger me?"

"Well given that Thor would kill you slowly if you hurt me, I think we're OK."

"And you do not trust me."

"Actually, I do and that's why I'm still sitting here."

He scoffs, "Then you are more of a fool than I took you for."

"Think what you want, but I keep coming back, don't I?"

"Another unwise decision."

"Not in my book."

"Why are you here this time, Jane Foster of Midgard? You speak of unhappiness in your time without Thor, that he is disregarding your needs, keeping you at a distance as he contends with the responsibilities of being Odin's golden son. But yet you return to Asgard. And to here. So why? What do you hope to gain?" He is bitter, biting, and at the same time, truly flabbergasted as to why she would be in Asgard, let alone visiting him.

"Answers. To every question I have about my own stars and then to ask more questions about yours."

"Your stars do not bear enough questions?"

"My stars are full of questions! Isn't it amazing? And then there are these stars...or there would be, if Svartalfheim cleared up. Does it clear up? And what about all the other realms? What stars are between realms?"

"And you hope to find answers here?"

"It would be cool, but I really just want to see everything for myself."

"And what if you cannot?"

"Then I'll be happy with what I do get to see. The universe is so much bigger for me now- there's no way I could see it all! But when I die, I'll know I got to be in Asgard. One of the few from Midgard to ever come here. And I got to see Svartalfheim. Who else can say that? Nobody, that's who. And I held one of the most powerful forces in the universe in my body and survived it. Isn't that just amazing?"

"You see wonder in this place?" He gestures, arms wide, and she asks herself if he is asking about the realm they are in or the realm they are visiting in his mind.

"I see wonder everywhere, Loki. It's just what I do."

He starts pacing again, shaking his head, "You are a foolish girl. Truly foolish." He is working up his anger as he walks, every step just a little harsher than the last, "Do you think that by asking me this, you can unravel me? Find a cure for Loki's madness and bring him back to Thor?"

"No, not really. It'd be nice if you'd calm the hell down, but I'm OK with whatever."

"Then why? Why do you come?!"

"Like I said. I want to know you."

"Yes, but _why_?"

"Ah, nope. Remember, not telling until you tell me why you don't want to tell me why you keep picking Svartalfheim. Or you could just tell me about Svartalfheim. That would work, too."

"Because it was the one time there were no lies!" He kicks the rocks and they swirl up from his feet, a little dust storm, a rock storm, forming as he angers, "Are you happy?"

"Explain."

The rock beside the rock-cot explodes and she ducks to one side as the pieces blow past her, "No." As he rampages, his emotions uncontrolled, the illusion itself vibrating just a little, his own projection flickers and, for an instance so short she swears she imagined it until it happens a second brief time, Loki is not pacing in his armour, glittering in the dim light, the leather whipping around him as he spins. Instead, a gaunt young man in ill-fitting clothes with matted, greasy hair and filthy skin paces in a desolate landscape, stumbling once in a while from the exertion. And then it is gone and she sees him once again the warrior.

"OK."

"Is that it? OK? OK?! How is it that you accept this?"

"Because the deal was for why. Not for anything else."

But it seems as though he did not hear and he continues, his thoughts quick and his words tumbling out as fast as they come, "There were no lies. Illusions, yes, but nothing was false between us. Anger, yes. Fear, yes. Hatred, yes. And yet...truth." He slows, his shoulders dropping just a bit with each breath, "I fought beside him as his brother one final time, protector of the Nine, open and bare in my need for vengeance and in my love."

Jane rises and walks closer, hoping she has judged him correctly, at least about her, "Keep talking. You need this."

"No...no I don't."

She stands in front of him and places her hands on his face, lifting it so his eyes meet hers, "Loki...you kept me safe in this place. I remember that. I remember falling, the Aether gone, disoriented, and you throwing your body over me. I remember you shoving me out of the way as that...thing opened up in the sky and pulled you in. I remember the look on your face when it did... And then I remember being pushed away from the fight, hidden in your magic, so they couldn't see me. I'm alive because of you."

"Is that why you wish to know me?" She drops her hands to his shoulders.

"No. I want to know you because you're the only brother I'm ever going to have."

"What?"

"I'm almost seventy. Even if I can't marry Thor...you're my brother. And that means something to me."

"Thor is not my brother."

"Yes he is, even if neither of you will admit it."

"No, he is not! He left me here!"

"We thought you were dead."

"I was...sort of."

"We had to stop Malekith from ending the universe. We weren't going to just leave your body here to rot. But if we hadn't stopped him, it wouldn't have mattered if you were dead or alive."

"Everything was as it should have been all along when we fought together as we did so many times before."

Jane nods and pats his chest over his heart, "And that's what it all comes down to, doesn't it?"

Loki gives himself half an nod, then lightly shoves her away and steps back, "No. It does not. Leave. And please consider not returning."

As soon as she has left the cell, he sits down along the wall and drops his illusions entirely. Something has changed, and he is not entirely sure what. But for the first time in decades, someone has drawn him out and touched him and he is both overwhelmed by the feeling and by his desperate craving for any kind of family. He wonders if she will return or if she will mind his request.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Jane turns 70 in Midgard and celebrates alone with a trip to the movies. She waits for Thor to visit, as he has promised, and yet he does not come until weeks later, turmoil in Jotunheim his excuse. When he does come for her, they return to Asgard and celebrate together with a private feast. And then he is called to meet with Odin and she is once again alone. She returns to the dungeons and stands outside Loki's cell, uncertain as to whether or not she is welcome to enter. She waits for an acknowledgement, but seeing none from the still figure sitting against the wall, she begins to leave.

"Wait."

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

The guards let her enter and she walks towards him, but there is no illusion to step into. She sits beside him.

"So am I actually sitting next to you?"

"Yes."

"And are you seeing something different?"

"No. Only you."

"Yeah, but I'm betting you're imagining me 40 years younger."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because most people aren't so keen on spending all their time with little old ladies."

"Is this something you have learnt in Midgard? In our world, elders are esteemed as bearers of a lifetime of wisdom."

"Unless they're Odin?"

"Well that is a circumstance unique to me."

"Look, about last time..."

He reaches out and hesitates before taking her hand, "I am sorry- my anger does not need to be unleashed against you."

"Whoa- since when does Loki apologize for anything?"

"Since now, apparently."

"Thank you." She pauses, then asks the same question she asks every time, "Are you eating any better?"

"No."

"This isn't what you really look like, is it?"

"What do you mean?" He is still holding her hand.

She can feel something isn't quite right- that her eyes are seeing something different than what she is touching, "You're keeping me from seeing just how rough you look. And don't you lie to me, I know it's true. When you were having a hard time last time, it flickered and I saw you without the fancy getup."

He sighs, "It is true."

"And you're not going to show me what you really look like, are you?"

"Not when they can see." He nods towards the guards.

"Then make it so they can't." He stands and walks towards the cot, leading her, and as she rises, she sees herself still sitting beside the wall next to him, "Well that's super creepy."

He sighs and turns back to her as he sits down, "And now you see me."

She manages to stop from gasping, but she can't help her expression, "Oh, Loki...you look so sick." And even that is an understatement. She sits beside him, the stench of unwashed body strong enough to make her reconsider her decision. But the whole cell smells and she knows that she will have to endure it if she wants to be with him.

"I am sorry that this distresses you." He replaces his illusion.

"No."

"But you are upset. Would it not be better for your heart if you could trick the mind into knowing that I was fine?"

"No. I'm not going to let you lie to me."

"Then may I ask the awkward question this time?"

"Sure, shoot."

"Why have you not married Thor?"

"Because Odin says he can't be king if I'm his wife. And there's stuff he has to do to get ready for being king. So I guess if Odin dies and Thor can change things... But that's never going to happen."

"Has he promised you anything?"

"Oh, sure. Just not in front of the law or whatever it is you do here."

"I see."

"It's OK, though. What matters is that we love each other, right?"

He shakes his head, "Perhaps, yes, but your eyes tell me that you desire this formality to mark your commitment."

"Yeah, well...wish in one hand, shit in the other."

"That is a wholly unpleasant idiom."

She laughs, "Yeah, it is. There's more to it. 'Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which weighs more'- a reference to the scales used to weight against gold. The heavier something is, the more meaningful."

"So it is saying your wishes are worth precisely nothing."

"Worse. It's saying they're worth less than shit. At least shit's got a use in the garden."

"Ah."

She shifts how she is sitting and he notices something clipped behind her ear, "Is that a hearing device?"

She touches it and then shakes her head, "Oh, no, not for being deaf or anything...sorry, I listen to music on the way down here. Less depressing that way."

"Oh."

"Do you want to listen, too?"

"You could do that?"

"Sure. I've got another one." She digs around in her bag and hands him the earpiece. He clips it around his ear and she takes out her iPod, "By our standards, this thing's positively ancient. But it works, I like it, and so here we are." She turns it down and taps on the screen. Rousing music unlike anything Loki has ever heard plays through the earpiece.

"What is this?"

"Rock 'n' Roll. What do you think?"

"It's...different."

"And there's all kinds of songs in the genre. It's pretty amazing. And I've got a ton of it on here. Ooo, and maybe I'll find some funk. You might like that. Super different than anything I've heard here."

"Is this what you do with your time in Asgard? Listen to music from home?"

"And I watch movies. But yeah, it's not exactly what I imagined."

"You are still curious."

"Of course. I'm not dead yet."

He smiles, "I meant no insult. I like you, Jane Foster. I wish we had more time so I could know your inquisitive mind far better."

"I can't even imagine all the things you know. Your brain's pretty amazing."

"You hardly know me."

"Yeah, but you came up with that whole plan to get in to Svartalfheim in what, like two minutes? And you weaselled your way back here? Come on, don't tell me you aren't proud of at least a little of that."

"I am not so certain it is right to be proud of things done out of desperation."

"Then what could you do in calm? When you have time to sit and think?"

"Come up with a terrible plan to let Frost Giants into Asgard for the sake of disrupting my brother's coronation. And you have seen how that turned out." He spreads his arms, indicating the cell.

"Is that what started this all?"

"That and a lifetime living under Thor's shadow, yes."

"Oh. Neglected kid brother syndrome."

"Hmmm?"

"Just thinking out loud." The lull in the conversation is awkward and she fiddles with the iPod, "So...you want to watch a movie?"

"Will the guards allow it?"

"Yeah, we're cool for time."

"Oh. Then yes. Show me Midgard's entertainment."

"Well this one's supposed to be for kids, but I just love it."

"And you think it will amuse me?"

"Maybe. It does me, and I'm a 70 year old woman."

"What is it about?"

"Two sisters and their secrets."

"And you are sure this is one you wish to show me?"

"Oh, come on, you can handle family drama. Especially in a kid's movie. With singing."

"What have I agreed to?"

She squeezes his hand and leans gently against him, "Just a little time with a friend, that's all."

He watches with her quietly, giggling at some points, cuddling closer at others. When it ends, she takes back her earpiece and tucks everything back in her bag.

"So...there you go. Your first Midgardian movie. What do you think?"

"Are they all so...profound?"

"No. A lot of our movies are full of completely senseless violence and gratuitous sex."

"But is this more to your liking?"

"Yeah. Sweet stuff. And happy endings."

"You didn't show it to me because I am of ice, like Elsa, and you wish for reconciliation?"

"Ice? And no, I didn't. I honestly just really like this movie."

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm adopted."

"Well yeah, I know that part. But what's that got to do with ice?"

"He never told you where I was born?"

"No."

"Oh."

"So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to badger him tonight?"

He hesitates, "Jotunheim. I was born in Jotunheim."

"Really? But the ambassador from Jotunheim's huge and blue. I saw him the hall."

"They're here?"

"Yeah. Some kind of upheaval and all kinds of drama. I don't know more than that. Thor's not exactly forthcoming with the whole kingy stuff."

"It is true, they are blue."

"But you're totally not blue."

He chuckles, "No, not blue. Magic I do not understand."

"Well the ice comment makes sense now."

"But I cannot build an ice palace."

"Damn." She snaps her fingers in mock disappointment, "And here I was hoping."

"I could do this, though..." In a moment, the cell shifts and there is snow surrounding them, the ice palace ahead, "Or this..." and they are in Elsa's castle, the grand chandelier sparkling above them.

"It's beautiful, Loki."

"Which do you prefer?"

"Can we have snowflakes in here?"

"Of course."

She is giddy as she stands and twirls in the falling snow, "This is so cool! Oh my gosh, I'm totally fangirling here. Now I wish I was wearing a dress."

He makes sure the illusion is in place so the guards will not see his magic and walks over to her, "Which would you like?"

"Wait, what?"

He changes his own clothes into something resembling Kristoff's, "Which gown? Of course, it won't feel like you are actually wearing one, but it will appear so."

"Oh my gosh, I want Anna's green dress." And in a moment, she looks very much like a princess. "I can see how you'd get lost in it all and forget your life."

"It is remarkably easy."

She takes his hands, "Look, I'm going to have to go soon- I can't stay here all day and Thor was insistent on some kind of dinner date. But I want to ask you to do one thing for me before I come back next time."

"Oh?"

"Can you maybe think about taking a bath? You're getting a little pungent."

He stares at the floor, "You are too kind, Jane. I know I am less than pleasant to be around."

"And try to eat just a little more than 'not starving'. You're just skin and bones."

"I said I could make myself more pleasant to look at."

She kisses his cheek, "No. You're going to do this right. Take care of yourself a little. You're a bright young man. You've got years ahead of you. And in the few I've got left, I'd like you to reassure me that you're going to find a reason to stick around and find a better way to use them."

She grabs her bag and spins her skirt, laughing, "And we have got to do this again!"

After she is gone, her gown dissolving as she gets farther away, he dares himself to slide across the room in his stocking feet. He stumbles and falls, crashing against the wall. But instead of returning to the bed to sulk, he shakes it off and tries again. This time he stays on his feet.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Jane continues to visit every few weeks while she visits Asgard. Loki very slowly improves. He starts eating, a little more each meal. And he bathes, requesting clean clothes and sheets for the first time in a very very long time. He burns incense and lets her brush his hair once he has cleaned it.

She brings more movies, some made for children, some silly, and a few love stories. After each, he tries to create something of them in his illusions and they play for a little while before she leaves.

Just a few days after her 80th birthday, she returns from a visit to find Thor in his room, standing at the balcony, staring out over the city, very still, very quiet. He does not greet her or even turn to acknowledge that she has entered.

"Thor? What's up?"

"Father has died."

She sighs and joins him, "I'm sorry."

"There are still so many things I would like to do before being king."

"Then I guess you have to do them fast."

"I have only a few moments here. I must tell the realm. And then there are going to be years worth of work ahead of me as we change kings. I will have only a few days to mourn and I would like you here for those. But after, I ask you to return home until I send for you."

"OK...but you do realise that I'm 80 and we don't usually get many more years than that, right?"

"Yes, but I will likely not see you if you are here, either. Coronation may be quick, but what follows will be arduous."

"While you're gone this evening, can I tell Loki?"

"Is that wise? Will it be safe?"

"Yeah, I think it will be. He's my friend, remember?"

"I still cannot believe such a thing is possible."

"Spending time with someone will do that."

"Somehow I doubt it is only time. Were I to attempt the same thing, he would be furious."

"I don't know, Thor. If you were quiet and let him lead, you might get somewhere with him. But you've got to let him be what he is first. And that would probably be very, very angry."

"I will leave him to you, Jane. I do not think it would be wise to once again address the problem of Loki."

She sighs and stays beside him on the balcony until he kisses her and leaves for his duties. She changes from her layers of lavender into black, draping a long scarf around her neck. She has no idea how Asgard does mourning, but this seems right for her purposes. She returns to the dungeons.

Loki hears the barrier fall and sits up on the cot, confused when he sees Jane enter, "You have returned far sooner than I expected."

"Loki...may I sit?"

"Of course. What has happened?"

She takes his hands, "Odin died."

He is not sure what to feel, a part of him incredibly relieved, another part, the one that still hoped Odin thought of him, terribly sad.

"Loki?"

He clears his throat, "Thank you for delivering the news."

"What do you need?"

"Time."

"Well you have plenty of that- I meant from me."

"Will you stay with me for a little while?"

"Of course."

"Thor, no doubt, needs you."

"Yeah, but he had to go deliver the news to the realm. He said I had time to come down."

"But that will not last very long."

"No, it won't. And he wants to send me back in a few days so he can do all the new king stuff."

"Only a few days...will you be able to visit then?"

"No. Thor's asked me to spend them in mourning with him."

"Ah."

"I'm sorry. I really want to be here for both of you."

"Thor is your lover. You should spend the time with him, not me."

"And you're my brother. You need me, too."

Loki hugs her- something he rarely instigates, "And knowing this is enough. Thank you, Jane. I will be fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"It hasn't hit you yet, has it?"

"No."

She stays with him until it does, through a stage of uncontrollable crying, another of pure rage, and yet another of nothing but his own energy upending everything in the cell. He picks her up, dusts her off, and makes sure she is not hurt, apologizing profusely before dropping onto the cot, tucking his legs to his chest, and screaming into his knees. She sits beside him and puts her arms around him, but she knows there is nothing she can do to make things any easier. He shifts from sobbing to laughing and back again, and then he stands, paces, and then drops against the wall. She moves to sit beside him. He clutches his head, then the room once again flies into disarray, the cot upending, his blankets slapping the far wall. She opens her arms and he curls against her as he calms.

"Are you going to be OK?"

"I don't know."

She brushes back his hair, "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know. Perhaps Thor will consider a king's pardon...but I shouldn't hope for such a thing."

"You want him back, don't you?"

"Yes...but also, no."

"Let me guess, your head says no, let's stay angry, and your heart just wants your big brother like when you were kids and you hurt."

"Why do you think I hurt as a child?"

"Firstly, Thor's told stories of Sif beating you up. Secondly... you've always played second fiddle to Thor. Don't tell me that didn't make you jealous or hurt even then."

"I wish I knew their intentions. Their plans for me. What grand scheme did Odin have when I was so little?"

"Thor told me he wanted you to rule with your brother- a king and his right hand man, a faithful friend, advisor, and steward."

"And how does Thor know this?"

"He asked."

"And do you believe he was told the truth?"

"I didn't know Odin- he never liked me, so I didn't talk to him. But I don't see any reason why he'd lie to Thor."

"He lied to me."

"Technically, he omitted to you."

"He said I was his son."

"And you were. Adopted family is still family."

"Well he is dead now, so the tie to bind me to Thor has been severed. He will let me languish here, a prisoner until my death."

"Loki...think of it another way, please? Odin ordered him to stay away after your jailbreak. Odin's gone...so the orders are, too."

Loki sighs, "Odin's gone." He stands and offers her a hand, "My...my father is dead."

She hugs him and they walk towards the upended cot, "Yes, he is."

"I am so uncertain as to how I should feel about this."

"You feel how you feel. 'Should' doesn't even come into it."

"I feel all sorts of mixed things. And I do not want to try to right this cot... But I want something softer to sit on."

She gathers the blankets and drops them in a heap beside it, "There. Done. And being mixed up is OK. Just be gentle with yourself."

"Ah, something I am terrible at doing."

Fandral has been sent to retrieve Jane and, when he arrives, he finds her sitting in a heap of bedding with Loki cuddled beside her. She appears unharmed, but he does not know if this is an illusion or truth. They appear to be in deep conversation and he does not like interrupting, but he has a command from his king he must follow.

"Miss Jane Foster. I have orders to return you to Thor."

"Oh. That time already?"

"It has been hours that you have been down here. Are you as I see you?"

"Yep. I'm all me. By the cot. In blankets."

"It is quite the nest."

"It's comfy. You should try building one sometime."

"Perhaps I will, but the king awaits. Say your goodbyes."

She turns to Loki and hugs him, whispering beside his ear, "Hang in there. And just in case I don't make it back...I love you in every way a sister and best friend can."

His heart sinks and it shows on his face, "In case...?"

"I'm an old woman, Loki. I only have a few years left. I've already outlived all my friends in Midgard and most of the people I went to school with. If it takes Thor a few years to get everything straightened out...I might not make it back."

He holds her more tightly, "I had forgotten..."

"I'm sorry. This was a terrible day to remind you."

He does not want to let her go, "It is better to know it than to wonder if you have left me by some error of my own."

"You know I wouldn't do that. Would I take a step back? Maybe a break if you needed space? Sure. But I'd tell you why. If I don't show up, ask, please? Don't just worry yourself sick."

"I will. I don't want you to go."

"I know." She kisses his forehead, "But I have to."

She stands, and he stays in the blanket nest; she grabs her bag and is nearly to the barrier when he calls to her, "Wait, Jane."

"Yeah?" She turns back.

"I love you, too. As your brother, and your best friend."

She smiles, "That makes me really happy."

"Me too."

"Bye, Loki. I'll try to see you at least one more time."

The barrier crackles back into place as Fandral leads her out of the dungeon.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Jane leaves before Thor's coronation. Once back in Midgard, she reads scientific journals to occupy her mind and she visits the team that has taken over her research on inter-dimensional travel. They brief her on their progress, but there is little new she can provide, so she lingers only a little while before returning home. She stays in most days, her goldfish her only companions. It is a boring existence for someone as curious as she is. So when she determines that there are places she wants to see in the world while looking at a coffee table book, she gives away the goldfish and buys a plane ticket.

She travels the world for years, never settling in one place for more than a few months. Thor comes for her a few days before her 86th birthday. She has been home for a month, her health declining quickly. She is tired, weak, and having trouble eating. The little rattle in her chest tells her it won't be long. Thor helps her empty her apartment and takes her, along with the few things she can't stand to leave behind, to Asgard.

Despite the business of being king, Thor takes care of her, passing his daily duties on to his advisers. Sif acts as steward in his stead. But she cannot solve all the troubles of the Nine and urgent business calls. Jotunheim is on the brink of war with Muspelheim and Asgard needs her king when the creatures of ice and the creatures of fire agree to meet.

Thor hesitates to leave Jane, even though his delay could send them to war. She is dying, there is no question about this. But she urges him to go, as they have said their final goodbyes every day as they went to bed for the past week.

"But I do not want to leave you to die alone."

"I'll be OK. I was planning on dying alone in my apartment and hoping someone found me before I smelled up the place too bad."

"That's morbid, Jane."

"That's what being human is."

"What about Loki? Could I trust him to keep you company in your fragile state?"

"Of course."

"Good. Then I will have him take care of you while I try to keep ice and fire from destroying the Nine." He lifts her and carries her to Fandral, who takes her to the dungeon. Loki is laying down when they enter, but as soon as he sees who it is that Fandral is carrying, he springs to his feet and pulls back the covers. Fandral lays her in the bed and Loki tucks the blankets around her.

"What has happened?"

"Nothing other than the ravages of time. Thor has business to attend. He sends her to you for safekeeping." Fandral leaves her bag by the bed and exits.

Jane smiles; her voice is soft, "Hey. I made it."

Loki sits on the edge of the cot, "Yes, you did."

"By the skin of my teeth, though."

"Oh?"

"I'm on my way out. I'll probably go while I'm with you."

"But you should be with Thor..."

"Thor has to keep Muspelheim and Jotunheim from going to war."

He pauses, "How does that work? Frost Giants would not be able to tread in Muspelheim, nor the demons from there able to tread in Jotunheim. How did they even get to this point?"

"I don't ask. I just let him do king things."

Loki laughs, "Oh, Jane... It has been too long."

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Of course."

"Hand me my bag."

She tries to sit up as he lifts it, but he stops her and opens it himself, handing her the iPod and the earpieces, "Allow me. Save your strength."

"What strength?"

"Exactly."

"So what do you want to watch?"

"Perhaps the first one we saw? With the sisters and the magic of winter?"

"Gotcha. How are we going to do this? I can't sit up."

He lifts her torso and slips behind her, leaning her back against his chest, his arms wrapped around her to keep her secure, "As old friends." She smiles and starts the movie.

She tries to stay awake the whole time, but finds herself dozing off. Each time she does, he softly says her name and she tells him she's still here. After, they sit quietly together until she falls asleep and he cannot rouse her with just her name. He puts the iPod and earpieces away and lays her down on the cot, sitting on the floor beside her to keep watch. When she wakes, she is having a harder time breathing and he calls for the guards, hoping they can bring her to the medics.

"No, no...it's OK, Loki. This is supposed to happen."

"Guards! Help..."

"Loki, come here. It's OK."

He kneels beside the cot, his eyes welling with tears, "I don't want you to go."

"But this is what happens. To everybody, but to me a little faster than you."

"You should be with Thor. He's your lover, not me. I'm just...just Loki."

"No, Just Loki. This is where I need to be."

"But Thor..."

"Asked if you could take care of me."

"Oh."

"I told him you could."

"Oh. How do I do that?"

"You're already doing it."

"Can I offer the comforts of illusion? Bring your lover to you in your last moments? Wear his skin so you can die in his arms? Make this place one you dearly love?"

"No. Just you."

"I don't want you to die in a prison cell...may I at least bring you to one of our movies?"

"OK. One we both really liked, though." In an instant, they are in the ice palace and there is light snow falling around them. She smiles, "Our first."

She starts coughing and he holds her hand, "I'm not ready for this."

When she can catch a ragged breath, she smiles and reaches for his cheek, "You never would be."

"You're right. I wouldn't."

She closes her eyes, "And that's why it's happening fast. So you don't have to watch long. I love you. Take care of yourself. Don't forget to eat..." She coughs once, sighs, and goes slack. Loki feels for her pulse and can't find it. His hands are shaking as he crosses her arms over her stomach and kisses her cheek. He rests his head on the side of the cot and quietly cries.

It takes time for the guards to realise what has happened. They call for Fandral, who enters the cell nearly an hour after her death. Loki is still at the side of the bed, his face buried in his arms.

"Is this real?"

Loki does not move.

"Did you do something to her, or was it a natural death?"

Loki raises his head, his voice full of quiet rage, "How dare you say such a thing."

"Well you don't exactly have a stellar reputation. I had to ask."

"Have I hurt her in all the years she has been my guest?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Have I ever indicated, while in this cell, that I would hurt anyone other than myself?"

"Again, not that I am aware of."

"Are you aware that I kept her sheltered on Svartalfheim? Nearly died for her? That she was in grave danger from the elves after the Aether was free of her, and that I kept her hidden?"

"No. I was not in Svartalfheim."

"No, you weren't."

"But you tried to kill your own brother, you cannot fault me for questioning your motives."

"Were this Thor dead on my cot, perhaps, but it is my sister instead, and she was pure of heart and always sought the best in me."

"So did Thor, until you made that very hard to do. He likely still does. But he is in a meeting with the men of-"

"Of fire and ice. She told me."

"Yes. Of course. But I need to take her with me so they can begin the funeral rites."

"No."

"What?"

"No. I said no. She's not leaving with anyone but Thor."

"If this is a misguided attempt to bring him out of his conference so you can ensnare him and escape, you are foolish indeed."

Loki whips around and stands suddenly, causing Fandral to jump backwards and the guards outside to step in, their weapons drawn, "How dare you? How dare you?! She was my friend- perhaps the only one I have had! My sister! A spirit so unquestionably good that I did not deserve her presence, let alone to be gifted with her thoughts. And yet you stand here and accuse me of lifting a finger against her, of using her death to escape, of...of... Leave! Just leave! She is going nowhere, not until Thor himself comes to retrieve her." The furnishings in the room begin to tremble.

Fandral holds up his hands and Loki drops down on the edge of the cot, "I'm so sorry, Jane, that I could not keep my temper for you. You would not have liked this."

Fandral sighs, relieved that the furniture no longer looks like it is going to explode, and waves the guards back; he steps close to Loki, placing a hand on his shoulder, "She meant this much to you?"

"She was perhaps the only thing that meant anything to me in all the Nine. I have cared more deeply for her than I have for any other person in many years. And don't touch me."

He drops his hand, "Sorry. On the way here today, she told me to make sure someone took care of you and reminded you to eat."

"Has Thor been told what has happened?"

"No. That is where I will go next."

"Tell him that I am keeping vigil and will be until he arrives. She will be attended, even if not by the keepers of the dead."

Fandral nods, "I will." He leaves Loki alone in the cell and goes to tell Thor the news. But the conference is going poorly and Thor cannot step out, even for a moment. He waits hours. After everything is done and the ambassadors have retreated to their own realms, war narrowly averted for the moment, he is able to speak the message and Thor strides to the dungeon, his heart heavy.

Loki is kneeling at the edge of the cot, saying the ritual prayers for the dead, when Thor arrives. He steps into the illusion and gapes that the beauty of the ice palace.

"Fandral did not say you kept her here."

"Fandral did not see this. I did not allow it."

"Why not?"

"Because this place was made for her- it is from one of her movies. You would know that had you taken the time to watch it with her."

"You have been minding the ritual for the dead?"

"Yes."

"You are remarkably mild mannered."

"It is all I can do to honour her. I will destroy my cell later, when there is not something so important to attend to and she is out of the reach of my wrath."

"Important things have never stopped your temper before."

Loki turns to Thor, irritated and hurt, "Before? There has never been something this sacred to attend to _before_ , Thor. There have been formalities, pretences, the game of royalty...but this is different. If you cannot tell that, you did not deserve her." He returns his attention to his ritual.

"Loki...what was she to you?"

"My sister."

"And?"

"My dearest friend."

"And?"

"There is nothing more dear to me than this, Thor, if that is what you are needling at."

Thor kneels across from him on her other side and reaches across for his hands, "Will you recite the prayers for her family?"

He hesitates, but then takes Thor's hands, "Yes." Loki recites in the old language, words for comfort, for rest, and for celebration of the life that has left. He recites the prayers for a soul broken by the loss of its mate and for healing . And when it is time to recite the prayers for sisters and brothers, he hesitates and Thor speaks instead, allowing Loki the space to grieve. By the time he is done, Loki cannot stop crying, his hands gripping Thor's as though he would drown in his own tears were he not holding tight. Thor keeps his hands after the ritual and waits.

Loki draws back quickly when he calms enough to realize that Thor still has his hands and is gently rubbing the backs, trying to soothe him, "No."

"'No'? 'No' what?"

"This is not a reconciliation."

"It is mourning over someone dear to both of us. Can we not come together at least in this common grief?"

Loki thinks for a moment, then nods, "Yes, I suppose we can."

"Good. I have thought long and hard about this, but I would like to allow you to see her sent off. You will be chained and under heavy guard, but I do not have the heart to deny you this. It will be a very private ceremony. You will not be seen."

"Why? Why would you be willing to do this?"

"Because I am not our father. He denied you the opportunity to see our mother off- you received word and mourned alone. No one sat with you, no one called you back from your despair. That was unfair and unjust. I will not do the same."

"And what if I want to be left alone?"

"Then all you need to do is ask."

"Good. Then I will come for her sending, but after, stay away."

"Fandral says Jane asked that you be reminded to eat and care for yourself."

"Her last words were of concern. She did not want to linger and make me suffer watching her die. It is remarkable that she thought of others, even on her deathbed."

"That is how Jane is...was. A kind and curious woman. I will never know another such as her."

"No, we will not."

Thor waits, not sure what to do next, "I have to move her."

Loki removes the blankets covering her legs and untucks the sheet she is laying on, gently wrapping it over her feet and tucking it around her as a shroud, adjusting her arms on her stomach and kissing her forehead when he is done, "Gentle girl, rest. I will miss you infinitely."

 


	12. Chapter 12

Jane is resting in her funeral byre when Thor sends Fandral to get Loki. He finds him sitting on the cot, staring at the floor, and wonders if he has retreated into illusion. But he has not, his mind is as blank as his stare. He stand, his eyes still cast down, and allows himself chained, a heavy cloak draped over him to hide his identity during escort.

There are few attending the funeral. Jane knew nearly no one in Asgard, and she rarely even spoke to Sif and the Warriors Three. But they are in attendance to comfort their friend and king. Thor says a few words, but most of his goodbyes have already been said. He turns to Loki.

"Is there anything you would like to say?"

"She was a remarkable woman."

"Yes, she was."

"I loved her dearly, my sister, my friend. And I do not know what I will do without her."

Thor reaches for Loki's arm, but he jerks away, "Loki..."

"No, Thor. There was one day upon which I was completely honest in everything I said and did...and on that day, I asked you to say goodbye. To recognise that the end of her life, only a heartbeat, would be something you would never be ready for. And I did not know just how right I was until only today. Do not think this is something we have in common. You loved her as your wife, even when you were not brave enough to marry her. I loved her as my sister in spite of that. And she is gone. You will have other friends, other lovers, perhaps even another wife, in your future. I had only her and will have no one else."

Thor does not know what to say in response, so he says nothing. Volstagg lets her loose in the water. Hogun fires the arrow. As soon as she has dropped off the edge, Loki turns abruptly to Fandral.

"Let us go."

Fandral looks to Thor for guidance, but his king is mourning. So he nods and takes Loki back to the dungeon.

Alone, Loki steps back into Svartalfheim. But something is different this time. She is there, and as he plays things out, exactly as they happened, he cannot help but notice every little detail about her, so much younger than when he finally spoke to her as a friend. And when he casts himself over her to protect her from the Aether, he loses his concentration on the story, everything pausing, suspended, as he takes in the scent of her hair, the feel of her skin, and her warmth. But even those things dissolve as he falls apart, a crumpled man hunched on the floor in his cell, sobbing for a friendship he does not know if he can live without. And then, everything explodes, the wave of energy bursting from his mind so powerful that everything solid in his cell slams against the walls with such force that it shatters, if it can shatter, and bends, if it cannot. And it happens again. And a third time. He collapses entirely, exhausted and far too deeply despairing to move or think.


	13. Chapter 13

Thor busies himself with kingship to forget that the woman he loved so dearly is dead. But after a few months, he decides to face his grief. He turns on Jane's computer, his fingers clunky on the small keys, and tries to remember her file storage system. There is research on here that he knows his scientists would be interested in, approaches they have not considered. And it is the best way Thor can think of to honour the legacy of Dr Jane Foster.

Loki can think of no way to honour her, though, so he retreats to illusion, pushing aside all thoughts that could remind him of Jane. No Svartalfheim. No Midgard. No ice palaces. He is left with the Void, Jotunheim, and dead dreams of Asgard's throne.

He stops bathing. He stops eating. Only just enough to stay alive, and some days, not even that. He cannot think of any reason to put in the effort, so he does not. He has a life of solitude ahead of him, no friends, no family, and only his books. But books cannot touch, and he finds his illusions more and more often including other people and some false approximation of what it feels like to have someone warm and kind near him, touching him. And when he is particularly desperate, he recreates Jane and relives the conversations they had in his cell, even if it is incredibly painful. Her voice is comforting, even though it tears his heart open to leave the illusion and let her fade.

As he does this, he goes back farther and farther, mining their earlier conversations for things that he can use to keep his sanity. And then he comes to something he had forgotten, something, that in the months since her death, he has entirely ignored.

" _It does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live."_

Loki tries to touch her cheek and his hand passes through her. He sighs. His illusions fall away and he is back in his cell leaning against the wall. He drops his head into his hands.

"Loki?" He looks up as Thor calls to him from beyond the barrier, "Do you see me?"

"Yes, Thor, I see you. Regrettably."

"Are you being difficult for the sake of being difficult, or do you really still wish to have no company?"

"I no longer know."

"Fair enough."

"Have you come to mock? To tell me that I should give more of an effort to stay alive for some reason yet unknown to me? Perhaps because you would feel badly were I to die? Or is it to gloat that you had her love, her trust, and her time?"

"She was more than your friend, wasn't she?"

Loki sighs, "No. She wasn't."

"But in your heart-"

"I said no. She was just a friend."

"A friend to Loki is never 'just'. You take your friendships quite seriously."

"Those few I have had, yes."

"You look terrible."

"Oh, thank you. I really needed a commentary on my appearance during our little heart to heart."

"You were eating for a while. She convinced you."

"Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to talk about her?"

"Did it ever occur to you that you ought, whether you want to or not?"

"I hate you, Thor. With every ounce of my being."

"No, I don't think you do. Because you know I'm right."

"And that is not a reason to hate you?"

"No. If you are to hate me, make it because I did not believe her when she said she could trust you. When she said you were her friend."

"Why did you come here?"

"I come with a proposition. Not one you are likely to take, but..."

"Tell me."

"In time. But first, Jane left a will on her computer. A final document of her wishes. I only found it a few days ago. There is little in it, as she had few possessions. But there are messages there. One for me. One for you. One for the both of us."

"Oh?"

Thor holds up a piece of paper, "Here, I wrote it down."

"You never were one for memorizing your lessons."

Thor smiles a little before reading, "She says to the both of us, ' _Boys, be kind to one another. I know you don't like each other right now, but hold on to each other. Even if you hate each other. Maybe especially when you hate each other. I'm writing this as an old lady without anyone left but you two. I love you both, in different ways. And I wonder what we're missing because of everything we've been through that's separated you. I want you to do one thing for me. Try to fix this. Not by changing who you are, not by trying to ignore what's happened. Not even by just pretending things are OK. Just...be yourselves. Be honest. And give each other a chance. Accept who you each are and look for the best in each other. It's there. I've seen it in both of you. And since I don't have a big fancy anything to give you each to remember me by, I want this to be the legacy you make for me. Even if you can never be friends, at least you'll still be brothers.'_ There...that's the part for both of us." Thor pauses and waits for Loki to react. For a long minute, he does not even move, staring at the floor.

"And the other message?" His voice cracks. He clears his throat, pretending that it didn't happen and that his eyes aren't a bit damp.

Thor reads, "' _My dear, sweet, heartbroken Loki. I have been visiting you for over half my life. And while I am sure this is the nature of people with super long lives, I have seen you open up so slowly that I wondered for a while if you were even still in there. I wondered if the young man I saw die so nobly was the same person I sat with for so long, waiting for him to speak. But it was worth every minute. Even the frustrating ones. I don't want you to think that it wasn't, or that those early years were wasted. They weren't. I need you to know that. I need you to know how happy I was when you finally acknowledged me with that one little nod. I could have walked on a cloud. I'd been told, mostly by Odin, but a little by Thor, that you were unreachable. And Odin was pretty sure you weren't worth reaching. He was wrong. 100% wrong._

"' _As I got older, as everyone I knew in Midgard died, I realized that you were the friend I would never have to worry about losing. It was a weird sort of comfort to know that you and Thor would always be there for me. But, selfishly, that you would be the one person I could count on paying attention to me- you didn't have a throne to worry about. You were kind of stuck listening to me._

"' _There was something magical about sharing movies with you, too. I will never watch Frozen the same way. How could I? We had so much fun! I've always wanted to be a Disney princess, ever since I was a little kid, and you gave me that chance. You sparked my imagination, Loki, the same way that exploring astrophysics did. And I don't think that's ever happened. I started writing and dreaming and digging into my research big time. My curiosity exploded and I started really wondering again! It was amazing! We had a good run. I hope you think so, too._

"' _Now I know Thor is probably reading this to you, and it's probably super awkward, but I hope you can remember it's me talking. You're wonderful, Loki. Keep eating. Take care of yourself. Keep your spark. Love yourself. Because as your best friend and sister, I love you. And I want you to find some measure of happiness, even if you're locked away. Keep dreaming. Always. Hold on to that one final inch. And remember that you're OK in my book...even if nobody else sees it._ '"

Loki has given up trying to stop his tears and has instead put up an illusion to hide them. Thor knows what he is seeing isn't real. He watches for any reaction and, when he cannot find one, he enters the cell and crouches in front of his brother.

"No more illusions, Loki. Not when it comes to Jane."

"There will only be illusions, Thor. I cannot keep her any other way."

Thor bows his head, "Loki...it is not healthy to do this. To cling to the dead in such a way. She is gone. Did you do this after Mother's death?"

"Not until Odin threw me back here."

"And then you did."

"Until Jane stopped me, yes. I spent hours, days even, in the rose garden. But also in Svartalfheim."

"And since?"

"I keep both of them. Did they meet? She would have loved a daughter."

"Briefly. And she protected her as one of her own. It is what she was doing when she died."

"Oh. No one told me that."

"Jane felt responsible for her death for many years."

"I wish I had known."

"But why? What could you have done differently?"

"I would have told her that I told the monster to take the stairs to the left."

"You have also blamed yourself."

"Of course."

He reaches out to touch his brother and remembers just how frail he is as he gently rests his hand on his bony shoulder, "Loki...do not do this to yourself."

"Leave, Thor. Just go." There is no anger in Loki's words, only defeat.

"No. She told me to take care of you, no matter how I had to, and whether or not you were receptive. She told me I was to open my eyes and my heart to you, no matter how much it hurt. And I am going to follow her last wishes."

"You said you came with a proposition, yet I have not heard one. If you do not have one to tell, I wish to be alone."

"I do."

"Then what is it?"

"I wish to return you to the sunlight."

"And what does that mean?"

"Your rooms will be under heavy guard, and there will be magic in place to restrict you to that space unless escorted, but I will visit you often and I will seek your council as Mother once intended. Perhaps one day you will wander the halls as you once did. There is so much we have both done wrong, but I will honour Jane's last request."

"You will have to forgive me if I do not drop the glamour as you bring me up. No one needs to see what I have become."

"You mean how you have starved yourself."

"To put it bluntly..."

"Will you come with me, then?"

He looks around his bare cell. The furniture he damaged has never been replaced. That which he could right, he did, the rest was removed. Everything is battered. Even his cot sits at an odd angle.

"I would have a real bed."

"Yes."

"And my writing desk."

"Yes."

"And my books."

"Of course."

"And a view of the city."

"A stunning one. But there would be a barrier there so you could not escape. I cannot trust you yet, even if she did."

"And yet you did. On her last day."

"Yes. With her, I did. But with yourself? I do not."

Loki laughs, "Oh, you know me too well, Thor. Far too well."

"So?"

"Yes. I will. But not because I'm conceding."

"Of course not. You have your pride to consider. You may sulk our entire journey upwards if you so wish."

"You know I will. And perhaps I will even glower."

"You always were quite good at glowering. And scowling. I caught you scowling at Father's back far more than once or twice."

"And here I thought I did so when no one was looking."

"I was always looking, Loki. Always watching out for you."

"You're really going to do it, aren't you?"

"What?"

"Try to find me beyond the anger."

"She didn't think it was hard to do. I mean, it took her decades, but she didn't seem to mind."

"Precious decades..."

"Now, no regrets on your stubbornness. I see where you are going with this. Don't. Enjoy what you had- she certainly did. And come. We have supper waiting for us in your rooms."

Thor rises. Loki follows. He is slow, he is weak, and Thor does not chain him. Instead, he offers to carry him. Loki resists at first, but after a few stairs, he cannot catch his breath and he asks for help, but with an illusion in place so no one knows. Thor gathers him in his arms and sees the glimmer around him as Loki uses what little strength he has to hide himself and recreate a proud prince beside Thor, chained, gaunt, but standing tall, glaring at his brother. No one needs to know that he is cuddled against Thor's chest, secretly glad that the fight is over, that he has an excuse to let himself rest.

Once safe in his rooms, the illusion drops and Thor places him on the bed, "Shed the other illusion, too. You are far more ill than this." Loki does, and, in the bright light of the setting sun, Thor can see even more clearly just how poorly Loki fares. He brings a tray beside the bed and takes a bowl of soup from it. He brings the spoon to his brother's lips. Loki does not protest, sipping slowly. Supper takes a few hours this way, but Thor does not feel the time slip by. The rest of the realm can wait.

"Thank you, Thor. For more than simply supper."

"Oh?"

"You allowed me Jane. And you are here because of her."

"I am here because I want to be and because she was wise. Do not mistake my agreement with her for a lack of kindness on my part, for a man acting out of obligation instead of love. I do not do this out of pity, but rather because it is time we move forward and she has given us a way to agree on something for the first time in many years."

Loki grins, "Oh, Thor, you speak only the truth."

"I hope to hear it escaping your lips more regularly in the future."

"You will. Because she asked."

Thor nods, "Good. But I must go be king for a few hours. Get some rest. There will be plenty of time for talk."

There is still a smile on Loki's face as he falls asleep. He dreams of Jane. She tells him how proud of him she is. She holds him tight and kisses his cheek. And she pushes a spring of rosemary behind his ear, a gift for remembrance.

When he wakes in the morning, the sunlight streaming in the other windows, the smell of breakfast wafting from the other room, he stretches and reaches to brush the hair from his face. Something catches on his fingers and he tugs it out of the tangles to inspect it. Rosemary.

"I don't know how this is possible..." But he stops himself and accepts that it is, "Thank you, dear Sister. Wherever you are. I hope you and Mother get along well. I think we'll be fine here, thanks to you."

He gets out of bed, draws a bath, and relaxes in the luxury of a real tub until Thor enters the room and threatens to feed him breakfast in bath. Loki cannot help but laugh as he washes his hair, fully enjoying the feeling of deep clean that he has not felt since before he was imprisoned. And when he dresses in silk, he runs his hands along the fabric, happy beyond words for the things he once took for granted.

Thor hands him his plate as they settle in at the table, "Eat. But take things slowly."

He picks at his food and then slowly brings up the fork, "Yes. For Jane."

"And perhaps someday because you have found life worth living for other reasons."

"Yes, well, we'll get there. Perhaps. Let us start simply though, shall we?"

Thor chuckles, "Of course, Loki. Of course. For Jane."

Loki takes a bite and closes his eyes, a look of bliss on his face, "Oh gods, this is good. If you continue to feed me this way, I most definitely will keep eating."

Thor beams, "I am so glad to have you back, Brother."

Loki thinks for a moment and realizes that he is happy for more reasons than just the far superior food, "I think I may become content here."

"But satisfaction-"

"Was not in my nature. I know. Perhaps, though, because of how Jane approached life, I have found some measure of it. Her delights in the little things, or in movies, or in imagination."

He rises, and walks around the table to hug Loki, "Welcome home." Loki does not resist. Instead, he returns the embrace. Thor is delighted. So is Loki. Both of them imagine that Jane is, wherever she is, as well.

 


End file.
